I <3 SkyMall

I've always been a fan of SkyMall. Ever since I was a wee lass and stopped wailing and sobbing and crying my way through plane trips because my ears were in such pain from the pressure (according to baby stories via my parents), SkyMall was there for me to peruse through, passing away the minutes while the rest of my family was buried in their books. I still have a vivid memory of convincing my dad to let me buy one of the collectible Barbies from SkyMall as a present for my sister (who's collection topped out at two Barbies, including the one we gave her). I was so excited, and EVEN got to use the GHETTO AIRPLANE PHONE to make the order!

I recently took a trip up to San Francisco, shortly after I boarded flight 320, I picked up my trusty 'ol SkyMall. As I went flipped through it page by page, I continued to be entertained by their offerings, some of which I would like to share with you now.


Apparently some people have heard of things like this, but I've never: The Marshmallow Shooter.
As the description notes, this baby will shoot "sweet, edible miniature marshmallows," (why you would want to do this I'm having trouble understanding, but maybe it's because I have no Y chromosome... I'd rather just eat them. Plus they would totally mash into the carpet), AND this one is better than all the others because of its "safe" red beam of light for accurate aim. Better yet, it's dishwasher safe!!!! Go for it, mom! Delight your child with this Marshmallow Shooter for "fast, nonstop action"!

Here we have The 20" Tabletop Photo Studio:

Ok, fine. There is a practical purpose to this one, if you spend a lot of your time taking semi-professional photographs of your possessions that you then post on E-Bay. Also, what's up with the Desktop Photo Studio that's $20 cheaper? I mean, it doesn't give me any information about it... though I assume it's smaller. But how much smaller?!

Next up - a SkyMall classic. The Always Fresh Pet Drinking Fountain:

I always desperately wanted this for my kitties. The description makes it obvious that my cats would prefer this over their normal standing bowl of water, plus it's better for their health! Recently, my sister decided to buy cat drinking fountain-esque thingy:
It may look alright in the picture, but let me tell you, alright it is not. Aside from looking like the cheapest piece of blue plastic thing sitting on the floor of our kitchen, the water barely trickles over the edge of the top well through those two little slits. Nothing flowing about it, no natural aeration at all. On top of that, Edie was afraid of the thing and Ollie just liked sticking his paw in it and splashing water everywhere - the walls, the floor... and now it lays in a heap on our dryer.

The entire following page of SkyMall is quite hilarious; they're basically selling you cosmetic surgery tools via SkyMall:
Here we have a lip pumper to replace collagen, a body slimmer girdle to replace liposuction, anti-wrinkle patches to replace botox, special tapes with elastic bands to replace a facelift, and ShapeUp pads to replace a butt implant.

But I would really like to focus on the Anti-Wrinkle Patches:

These patches OBVIOUSLY work wonders when you use them on horribly and obviously Photoshopped "before" images of already young and beautiful models. Way. To. Go.

Last, but not least, what would SkyMall be if not on trend? I present to you "The Zombie of Montclaire Moors" Statue:
Twlight, True Blood, Zombieland, Vampire Diaries, World War Z, Jennifer's Body, and of course, "The Zombie of Montclaire Moors" Statue. Who WOULDN'T want this in their backyard?? Though to be quite honest, this is not at all the scariest Zombie I've ever seen. Instead of looking as though he wants to crawl out of the ground to attack and kill me, it's more like he's trying to crawl into the ground to escape a sad, depressing, meaningless life of ... being a zombie...

And with that, I say thank you SkyMall. Thank you.

Girl Talk Graphic Breakdown

Girl Talk, aka Greg Gillis, is a DJ/mash-up artist/awesome dude who makes music by taking a number of samples from something like up to 40 different songs, then mixes and mashes them to make a completely new song. The samples are most often recognizable, and could be anything from Britney Spears to The Cure to T.I. Some clever cat found a way to visually represent one of Girl Talk's songs, "What it's all About," via Wired.



Feel like following along? Listen to the song here: What it's all About

Let Me Entertain You

Ever since watching Bette Midler's Gypsy as a child, I've been fascinated with burlesque. There's something about the classy yet seductive way Gypsy Rose Lee strips, almost as if she's telling a story throughout the number - something that has definitely been lost in the Crazy Horses and Jumbo's Clown Rooms of the world.

For the past couple years, I have been on a mission to find a burlesque show of Gypsy-quality. However, after a failed attempt at Forty Deuce (line was too long, and it is now closed), a less-burlesque-but-more-cabaret Wednesday night at The Edison (though still a spectacular time), and a hilarious-yet-"alternative" burlesque show at El Cid (stripping gorilla and all), I still have not been successful.

Until now. Hopefully.

This Saturday, The Happy Shop is premiering at the Roosevelt. The show takes place in the hotel's Cinegrill, and the description from UrbanDaddy sets it up to be classic burlesque in an old glam style: live jazz, flowing booze, ties required.

I've secured my tickets for the July 25th show, and will wait anxiously to see how this show will measure up to my Gypsy-expectations.

Facebook in Pirate Talk

If you look closely at the language below, Facebook in Pirate is pretty amazing. The fact that it's an option is even more amazing.


(click on the image to enlarge)

my thoughts exactly

Olympic Stardom

I was just reading an article about how Michael Phelps' "brand scores" have gone down because of the bong-hitting picture that surfaced on the British tabloid. I'm so tired of everyone giving him crap for this. I have a very different opinion and in fact like the fact that he smokes weed - it makes him more of a normal person. Good for him to be able to take some time to relax or whatever you may call it, AND win eight fold medals. More power to him. Leave him alone.

i <3 virgin america

Back in September, I flew up to San Fran on Virgin America, and it was one of the best flying experiences I'd had. I thought the brand had done an amazing job of standing apart from all other airlines in every way, from their check-in kiosks (very futuristic, sleek and colorful) to their in-flight personal screens (choose your game, tv show, movie... i played Mahjong the entire flight). The thing I loved most was the safety instruction video, which was so tongue-in-cheek, making fun of the safety rules and explanations (something along the lines of, "for the .4% of you who have never put on a seatbelt before and/or don't know how, here's how to buckle). I was laughing throughout.

I got my mail yesterday, and one of the envelopes poking out of the pile said, "Important stuff about your account." I said to myself, whatever this is, it's gotta be a joke. I pull the whole thing out and what do you know, it was a Virgin America mailing (re: my Elevate account). And it all made sense. And I loved them even more.

*by Andre Jordan: http://www.andrejordan.co.uk/

All the single ladies...

So we've all witnessed the hype surrounding Beyonce's Single Ladies video; I myself have shared its glory with a number of friends, and watched it a number of times more. I can't help but laugh every time a friend impersonates, or attempts to, one of the j-setting-inspired moves... though I haven't yet attempted any myself. I've also watched a number of fan versions, from a little girl (sad) to a gay man (awesome, seriously) to three voluptuous women (messy but whole-hearted). I came across this on Videogum and liked it enough to share, though I wish there was morning dancing with the guys, and less complaining by Beyonce.

Wacked out over Wii

So... I know that the Wii is pretty awesome, (so much so that my sister is planning on saving aaaalllll her xmas money so she can buy one!) but this video is absolutely ridiculous.

50 kids happy to get a Nintendo Wii for Christmas - watch more gamer videos

I'm both in flat out awe and disgusted at the same time; my awe comes from the fact that Nintendo was able to able to develop a product that sparks this much joy (and, let's be honest, some craziness) within children. The disgust comes from the fact that this much joy (and some craziness) is sparked by a video game system. Who am I to judge, though? I mean, that's basically the product of what I do for a living.

I guess I'll try to look at the bright side focus on the joy these kids feel and will feel until they get bored of the Wii after a few months.... just kidding.